Everything happens for a Reason...

2008-09-10T08:48:00.001+08:00

2007-04-28T18:26:00.000+08:00

the feeling i get when i miss you...

had a talk with mich last night..and through the chat i realised so many things...

1) i miss you

2) what we had was special, and i can probably never find such a feeling with anyone else again

3) i want to know whether you still love me (coz i do)

4) i actually have very strong feelings for you, although i was not willing to acknowlege them before

5) you still affect me, alot.

6) i guess you're the only one i really ever love.

2007-04-07T23:01:00.000+08:00

tomorrow....will be easter day...not april 11...but yep, the whole story of how we got together is flashing back violently in my head right now...you don't seem to be affected...oh well, u're happier without april 11 2004 ever having taken place i guess...

2007-03-24T20:06:00.000+08:00

it doesn't matter that u keep asking girls out nowadays..but i can't believe i had to see what i just did in the midst of doing my essay...

it's really painful...

2007-03-19T04:48:00.000+08:00

i miss you so much, it hurts...

i never realised how much you mean to me...

i never realised how much i love you...

i never realised how good we were together...

i never realised so much till now...

it really hurt when i saw you walking together with those two girls...

when i know you've been going out with them so frequently...

i don't want to think further than i ought to...but i am...

and i am feeling pain, when i thought it wouldn't affect me this bad...

but yet, i know i'm not jealous in the way that i get mad at you for going out with them...

in fact, i sincerely wish for you to be happy...

and if these are the things that make you happy...

then i truly am glad for you...

i don't think i can turn back time and change the way things were...

i don't think i can ever have the courage to tell you all these things...

so i don't think you will ever know how much i'm hiding from you...

just to see that smile on your face...

and the better time you're having...

i pray that God will take charge of this whole situation...

and that He will have the power to change things to be the way He wanted...

2007-03-03T06:06:00.000+08:00

i'm not a perfect person

there's many things i wish i didn't do

but i continue learning

i never meant to do those things to you

and so i have to say before i go

that i just want you to know

i've found a reason for me

to change who i used to be

a reason to start over new

and the reason is you

i'm sorry that i hurt you

it's something i must live with everyday

and all the pain i put you through

i wish that i could take it all away

and be the one who catches all your tears

and so i need you to hear

i've found a reason for me

to change who i used to be

a reason to start over new

and the reason is you

i've found a reason to show

a side of me you didn't know

a reason for all that i do

and the reason is you...

2007-02-26T00:43:00.000+08:00

2007-01-28T04:49:00.000+08:00

you with the sad eyes

don't be discouraged

oh i realize

it's hard to take courage

in a world full of people

you can lose sight of it all

and the darkness, inside you

can make you feel so small

but i see your true colours

shining through

i see your true colours

and that's why i love you

so don't be afraid to let them show

your true colours

true colours are beautiful

like a rainbow

show me a smile then

don't be unhappy, can't remember

when i last saw you laughing

if this world makes you crazy

and you've taken all you can bear

you call me up

because you know i'll be there

and i'll see your true colours

shining through

i see your true colours

and that's why i love you

so don't be afraid to let them show

your true colours

true colours are beautiful

like a rainbow

"il y a longtemps que je t'aime

jamais je ne t'oublierais"

too fast.

2006-12-24T13:36:00.000+08:00

everything's happening too fast.
just when i'm trying to get over it,
and treat u like a 'friend'

u moved on too fast,
bringing another guy friend to church.
whom u only knew for less than a month,
but like u guys had been talking for ages.

i really wanna get over it,
but its so hard,
before i can complete stage 1,
stage 2 just comes.

thought things could go slow.
being brave enough to still go church,
knowing that i'll still see u.
just makes it harder..

from my experience,
that guy's got something for u.
and that jealousy just kept coming.
i've been praying,
but it just kept flooding my mind.

sorry if i was cold towards u last night,
it was really a battle in my head..

memories of how we got each other's number,
its just flooding back.
i don't think i'm ready to take what is to come.

u're moving on too fast.
just makes me feel so insignificant in ur eyes.
maybe i am..

but i really wanna wish u all the best,
hopefully dis is really what God wants in ur life..
i'll try to be supportive of whatever is to come.
i will, i promise..

2006-12-17T23:57:00.000+08:00

time.

2006-12-10T18:45:00.000+08:00

i've came.
i've hurt.
i've ran away from.
i came back to.
i tried to please.
now, what's gone is..

all these seemed harmless, but what hurts most is when i added "you" behind every line.

don't worry, i'll listen to u,
and just treat u like a friend.
just a friend..
take care, you..

2006-12-04T01:39:00.000+08:00

don't cry, baby...

let me wipe those tears for you...

...or would you prefer a hug?? *smiles*

2006-12-03T02:28:00.000+08:00

i really enjoyed our movie date today, sweetie...thanks for laughing with me, walking with me, and letting me lean on your shoulder :)

wow.

2006-11-29T17:45:00.000+08:00

its been so amazing.
still remembered the day u told me ur 'A' lvls results.
the anxiety,
the openness we had.
'confidants' to seal up our feelings for each other.

now that i look back,
we've really been thru alot.
so nice to look back at stuff.
going to nus wif u whenever i can.

but one thing i struggled the most,
not knowing how to support u
the way u wanted to be supported.
i'm sorry that i'm insensitive at times.
but i'll definietly pick up a lil by a lil..

girl, i wanna grow old wif u.
we can do it.
let's compromise and hold hands till we drop yah?
its gonna be full of excitement to own a house
and start a family wif u.

looking forward to fill in our kid's birth cert together.
to sign the joint-acct form together.
to share a car and a bed.
looking forward to that!

i love u so,
i miss u so..

2006-11-25T19:55:00.000+08:00

today, we were clad in GreeN! very nice! *wide grin*

2006-11-01T01:27:00.000+08:00

2006-10-11T16:28:00.000+08:00

my dearest, it's been a rollercoaster ride with you the past 30 months..our highest and lowest moments, the sweet and the not-so-sweet! hehe..yea aniwaes no matter how much things seem to get out of hand sometimes..in terms of our un-finishable quarrels and arguments..i think..i dare to say that i still love you alot..and i'm still very hopeful for a future with you..we've learnt alot about each other, and how to handle the situations we face..and even though we're getting better..i think there's still a long long LONG way to go! hehe..like i say..we've only just begun, darling! thank you for all the special moments and memories you've given to me..thank you for letting me be your baby..just want you to know that you will always be my baby too yup! and i will always be here for you..in times of sunshine and times of gloom..we'll stick together like honey okies! i love you dear! Happy 30 months! *muah*

2006-10-05T23:29:00.000+08:00

a night to remember

i love you, baby :)

2006-08-23T22:07:00.000+08:00

aimishu...

2006-08-23T15:15:00.000+08:00

and he chants..."two more weeks to POP..two more weeks to POP..two more weeks to P-O, P-O, P!"

2006-08-09T22:51:00.000+08:00

i love you

forever and ever, babe. *smiles*

2006-07-14T02:51:00.000+08:00

this is my prayer for you, sweetheart:

For this reason i kneel before the Father from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And i pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses all knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

~ Ephesians 3:14-19

May you be rooted and grounded in love..May your whole life be so firm and steadfast that all the blasts of hell and all the storms of earth will never be able to knock you down..May our Lord Jesus Christ always reside in your heart and bless you abundantly..in Jesus' name i pray..Amen!

i miss you...

2006-06-12T00:27:00.000+08:00

happy 26th month us! *smiles*

pictures of us from then till now...

this used to be our favourite photo rite? *winks*

this used to be my bed..and i remember it was here that we kissed for almost 20 minutes..the songs kept playing and we could go on forever..

aww..our little diary..

i will hold your hand as we grow old together..

taken on our first month together as a couple..i still remember we went to Black Angus for dinner..and that's when i gave u your swatch watch..

it was choral singing that brought us closer together..

your sweetness..always willing to come down all the way to NUS just to accompany me on my very long bus ride home..

on ur 18th birthday! look how you've grown!

at my void deck, the area behind the lift, the place where we have our heart-to-heart talks..you had a name for that place rite? hehe..what was it ah? i forgot..

valentine's day 2005 date..our first vday celebration together..you made the lovely flowers for me, we had a nice dinner at east coast pasta fresca..and then a most memorable night under the stars..i still smile upon thinking of that night..

our first anniversary!

national day 2005..i watched the fireworks over my head with you by my side..thank you for giving me that experience darling..

on our way to jurong point..long bus rides were BEST with you around..

we could have our dates anywhere! while you're working... at your school...

at my place..

at your place..

on a bus...

...and even at a bus-stop!

this was taken on our double-date with andrew & hew wing..after paulaner's (which explains ur very red face)..hehe..

Chinese New Year 2006..

at steven curtis chapman's concert..the guy who sang the song we hold so dear to our hearts.."i will be here"..did u know that i want the song to be played at my wedding? *smiles*
you were also always willing to accompany me on my girly escapades..like.....

SHOPPING!

concerts..

eyebrow threading...

...and so many many others!

for all these and the many other things i forget to thank you for..i love you! the Lord has truly blessed me with an angel..*smiles*

2006-06-09T22:26:00.000+08:00

only for your eyes, my dear...

i love you baby..thank you for everything..*smiles*

2006-04-20T13:51:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow morning if you wake up

and the sun does not appear,

i will be here.

If in the dark we lose sight of love.

hold my hand and have no fear,

'cause i will be here.

i will be here when you feel like being quiet;

when you need to speak your mind, i will listen.

And i will be here when the laughter turns to crying;

through the winning, losing and trying, we'll be together,

'cause i will be here.

Tomorrow morning if you wake up

and the future is unclear,

i will be here.

As sure as seasons are made for change,

our lifetimes are made for years,

so i will be here.

i will be here, so you can cry on my shoulder;

when the mirror tells us we're older, i will hold you.

And i will be here to watch you grow in beauty,

and tell you all the things you are to me;

i will be here.

i will be true to the promise i have made,

to you and to the One who gave you to me.

2005-09-11T00:00:00.000+08:00

happy 17th month us! *smiles*

2005-09-03T00:00:00.000+08:00

happy birthday you..

2005-08-30T23:07:00.000+08:00

mich sweetie..i miss u so bad..and i feel like we're just so so far away..it hurts me so bad to know that i lied to u about des and me..no we're not 'great'..but i just din wanna bog u with more problems..darling i'm hurting so much and i really wish u were here to just give me that warm hug like u always did..the hug that dried my tears and that comforting voice that calmed me down..but u noe what..u did say something that brought a smile to my face amidst all the hurt..it was when u said, "come to think of it, ben is not so much your type of guy, cos he's so unlike desmond.."..honestly i would never expect those words to come from you..You, the pragmatic, practical, realistic, no-way-can-your-bf-be-younger-than-you mich..yar..and then when i asked why..u gave an even sweeter answer.."because clearly u like desmond more.."..gosh mich do u noe that line welled up my eyes ..yes u noe me so well..and unlike the others..u don't force ur ideas on me..u're the only one who supports me and trusts me with this matter just coz u love me..and yea u said u're happy for me about it coz i'm happy..and yes i want so much to say i'm truly happy my dear..but things are not going well now...and it's just been really down in the dumps..we've spent more than a week apart now..and i believe he's happy with the way his life is going now..u noe it hurts so bad to find out that he's been sending other girls home??? but yet i can't say anything about it..and i can't let it out to u..and that hurts even more..mich i can't wait for u to be back in december..when u do come back..things might have changed completely..but i know u'll still be there for me dear..and hey i'm happy that justin's changing for the better..know u love him alot too..happy for u sweetie..your birthday's coming..but i can't fly over to give u that big hug..oh btw did u know that ur bdae's exactly a week after his..hurts even more to know that this year i wont be that special person on his bdae..argh..michelle sng wei ling..i know i don't say this enough..but you have been the sweetest fren i've ever gotten to know..and i treasure our friendship like crazy..i wanna thank you for everything you've done for me..i'm praying for u ya..thank you sooo sooo much again..*muah* i love you!

2005-08-29T14:40:00.000+08:00

it hurts so bad..i know i love you..i always have..but just knowing that u're pushing me away even though i'm fighting for every opportunity to be there for u hurts like crazy..u say u don't know what u're feeling..but why can't u just let me be there to hear out your thought process? the process of finding out what is actually bothering you so much? why do u say that it's better that i not know what u're thinking?
i really think it'll be better if u try to externalise your feelings..if not with me, at least share it with someone else..at least u'll be able to see a better picture..and i'm sure u'll feel better..
what i'm doing seems so pathetic..not being able to talk to u and imagining this blog to be u..i can't believe our 16mths together has led to this..i don't know how much you're hurting inside..but i want you to know that i really really wanna be your listening ear..
i miss you so bad..dammit i love you..argh..
crying out to God everyday and praying for you..
pls talk to me again..

2005-08-28T22:30:00.000+08:00

cried my lungs out today..but it didn't really make me feel better..i don't know what to do anymore..do you not want me to do all these stuff? do u really want me to leave you alone?

i need your hug..and i need your shoulder to cry on..

2005-08-16T13:07:00.000+08:00

oh now you see me as a persecutor?? wow..wonder what other images of me you have in your head..

2005-08-16T12:01:00.000+08:00

very well..u said it all..u answered my question..your life now is all about SIP, SIP and more SIP..there's nothing else fun going on in ur life..i understand now..

2005-07-25T00:49:00.000+08:00

i just know that, one day, i will cry like i've never cried before...

2005-07-15T14:17:00.000+08:00

please just show me that you love me again...it's seriously not the amount of time spent..it's how you are like when we're together that makes me feel like shit..why can't i get the special treatment from you again..instead of being treated the same way or even worse than your friends..show some enthusiasm when u're meeting me pls coz i'm getting so tired of being disappointed over and over again..
it's not what you do..i just can tell..and it hurts..almost every minute i'm with you..

2005-07-12T19:01:00.000+08:00

2 songs i wrote for him...

In a heartbeat
How could it be
that you changed in a heartbeat
changed the way you were
changed the things i fell for

How could it be
i'd give it all in a heartbeat
and i'm clinging to things
that seem no longer there (hey it used to be easy)

Maybe it took you all this time
to discover who you are
to discover what u're looking for
Or maybe this is all a disguise (or so i'm hoping)
There's all this speculation
all this suspicion

And i'm praying for you
to be my hiding place
my sanctuary, my only one
and i'm hoping i can see again
what i fell in love with you for
because all that seems to have disappeared
in a heartbeat

How could it be
that by trying things get worse
it's never what you want
not up to your high expectations

How could it be
that you just let me walk away
when in the past i was your treasure
now you don't seem to want me anymore

And i'm praying for you
to be my hiding place
my sanctuary, my only one
and i'm hoping i can see again
what i fell in love with you for
because all that seems to have disappeared...in a heartbeat

Please, i want to see the man i love again...

Bottomline baby, is i love you
I wish i could fly that kite with you
remember we talked about that cruise for two?
I wish i could visit the zoo
see all those cute little animals with you

It'd be so fun, i know it would
so fun, anything with you

Kay, let's not beat about the bush

I miss your company
i miss those little antics of yours
i miss the way we were together
I miss the long walks we took
i miss all your hugs and your kisses
But bottomline baby, is i miss you

I wish you would pop by my place
spring a surprise, bring a smile onto my face
I wish we could go to the beach
with all the time in the world to rollerblade or just be free

It'd be so fun, i know it would
so fun, anything with you

Kay, let's not beat about the bush

I miss your company
i miss those little antics of yours
i miss the way we were together
I miss the long walks we took
i miss all your hugs and your kisses
But bottomline baby, is i miss you

My bottomline baby, is i love you!

2005-06-16T23:15:00.000+08:00

too many lies..i don't know when to believe you anymore..since when did u become such a liar..

2005-06-14T00:06:00.000+08:00

something tells me you don't love me anymore..
i'm hurt because i just know it..
you dread meeting up with me..
you don't even wanna hold my hand..
how can it go on like that..
seriously, if you don't think you want me in your life anymore..
just tell me to get out..
i'm so tired of crying everyday..
i'm really damn hurt..
you don't seem to care anymore..
yet stupid me chooses to put up with it..
how did things turn out this way..
i really feel like giving up..
but something inside just tugs me..
tells me to hold on..
and now i'm just struggling..
between being happy..
and making you happy..
do you know i cry myself to sleep every night?
do you know i've never been assured that you still love me?
do you know how hurt i am?
i feel like i have something that i don't..

2005-06-11T03:22:00.000+08:00

why did you have to say all those things? about me being spoilt? about me being so full of myself? did you really feel that way? have u always thought about me that way? it seems like you have..
i'm prepared to let go this time..i have no idea why i thought that this would work out so much when i was away..i guess it's purely my fantasy..there's no such thing as agape love between humans..
i gave you time to bloom..i saw your beauty and decided to take a second look at it..you gave me a mere one day..
maybe this really isn't worth your while..and neither is it worth mine..you have so much hatred towards me..it shocked me no doubt..but if u really think i'm that horrible..then there's nothing that i say that will change the way you look at me..
everything seems to be my problem nowadays..nothing i do or say pleases you..why is it that i still see you as someone i want to spend the rest of my life with..
i'll let go..i will let go..go be happy..go find the girl of your dreams..i'm still bent on my agape love concept..if there really isn't anyone who can fulfill that longing in me..i will remain single..coz i don't think love was ever meant to be distorted to this extent..the ironic thing is..i realise we always quarrel on the 10th of each month..
i tried to ask the Holy Spirit to control what happens..but it's always a big struggle..and it always seems like the devil gets the hold of me..i don't know what to do anymore..why do you say i love you on one day and show me you hate me the next..i don't understand you..you say i still don't understand?..have you tried to understand me? even after all the crap i said? how can i freely love someone whom i know has deep anger towards me? never mind what i say lah..u'll never buy it anymore..now to you..u're the most impt thing in this world..i'm just always justifying myself rite..and i'm not worthy of anymore from you..do you dare deny all this?
stupid me and my great high hopes for this relationship..stupid me thinking that we were both in this together..i have nothing to say anymore seriously..bottomline..i'm gonna let go of all this..i don't care how much i cry..i don't care how much i think it's a waste..it can't keep going on like this anymore..

2005-06-05T23:29:00.000+08:00

i can't believe i cried again..and i can't believe it was over nothing anymore..there's nothing more to say...i get the idea..if you say u're just another jackass..yes i do think you are..because you, like him, din care enough after the break-up..and you, like him, made me feel worse about being so involved in the whole relationship..giving my all..trying to change..actually changing..and then having the tables turned on me..i'm hurt..VERY..and i can't believe it's YOU who did it..YOU hurt me so much more than anyone has ever have..simply because i gave up so much for you..i gave in so much for you..setting the trap for myself..is this stupidity? yes i think so...

2005-06-05T12:47:00.000+08:00

and so it is
just like you said it would be
life goes easy on me
most of the time
and so it is
the shorter story
no love, no glory
no hero in her sky

i can't take my eyes off of you
i can't take my eyes off you
i can't take my eyes off of you
i can't take my eyes off you
i can't take my eyes off you
i can't take my eyes...

and so it is
just like you said it should be
we'll both forget the breeze
most of the time
and so it is
the colder water
the blower's daughter
the pupil in denial

i can't take my eyes off of you
i can't take my eyes off you
i can't take my eyes off of you
i can't take my eyes off you
i can't take my eyes off you
i can't take my eyes...

did i say that i loathe you?
did i say i want to
leave it all behind?

i can't take my mind off of you
i can't take my mind off you
i can't take my mind off of you
i can't take my mind off you
i can't take my mind off you
i can't take my mind...
my mind...my mind...
til i find somebody new

2005-06-05T12:21:00.000+08:00

u didn't even care to call back..i don't think u're even trying to salvage things..yeap probably u're really giving it all up already..and who am i to interfere with you moving on with your life rite..u've probably sorted it out and think u'll be happier without me..
i've been trying to let u into my thoughts..to let you know what i'm feeling..but it's either you don't bother to try to understand..or u're really that ignorant..don't you know everytime things happen i'm crying, screaming, begging for attention?..can't you tell? it's the worst feeling knowing someone has stopped loving you..i can't believe i even thought of trying to soften things by giving you the keychain..coz now..i don't think that would've made a difference..i can't believe i sent you the sms..when u're so uninterested..i can't believe i actually made the call..if u really hate me or something, tell me..coz i don't..if u don't want anything to do with me anymore, tell me....will be off to a 4 day camp tomz..but nopes..u don't care enough to wanna meet up with me before that..ur 2 free days..and you just don't bother...
you wanna know the reason why i feel that you don't care anymore?..i actually realised it on the day that i got my results..first person i wanted to call..YOU..but as i dialed your number..i realised..for what..you also din know that i would be getting my results..and it's like..my boyfriend doesn't even know about this big thing that's happening in my life..and i felt..we've drifted too far..you din even care that i was falling sick..even if you say u din know..i don't think that's an excuse..you never bothered to ask how i was doing..and i felt so miserable..not being able to share the joy of my good results wif someone i so badly wanted to..i still haven't told you my results..coz u still haven't asked..u still haven't bothered or cared enough to ask..
i have no idea what's going on in your mind rite now..whether u're just rolling your eyes everytime u receive my sms or call..or whether u're trying..because..nothing seems to be happening..we were supposed to watch monster-in-law today....u promised..you promised u would make time for me today..but i suppose it won't happen..i hate crying...

2005-06-04T23:31:00.000+08:00

something danielle said has been lingering in my mind for quite some time now.."do you think you'll ever find another person who loves you as much as he does?"..my answer, "probably not"..but it still happened because i really couldn't take the kind of rejection i was getting from him..he might say he never rejected me..but hey..my feelings don't count for nothing..i did feel that way..and i don't think it was petty..and never have i felt so threatened by my bf's friends..people who don't like me..yar..i just can't take the kind of feeling i get everytime i try to make something happen..but..yups..u seem to be uninterested..and then when somebody else..or rather anybody else suggests something..anything's cool to you..yups..that kind of feeling SUCKS..yes..a word i always try to avoid using..but it's true..the feeling is like shit..another thing that contributed to this sucky feeling..is the fact that u raise the issue of breaking up so easily now..when in the past u told me never to...yups..to you..i've changed..to me..u've changed..i don't know where we go from here..

2005-02-02T09:19:00.000+08:00

just reached school..alighted from a freaking freezing no. 10 bus..seriously..i almost died of cold in there man..when i got out..and a warm breeze brushed past me..woo..felt so good..now i'm just sitting somewhere around nus..getting my work done..no hurry..no rush..it's a relac kinda lifestyle..and i like it..maybe i don't suit the Singaporean system of getting things done..as in..i dun like competition..i like to take my time..and do things the best i can..at my own pace..with no obligations..restrictions..that kinda stuff..but seriously..i'm here now..alone..and yet having fun..i've actually forgotten how nice it is to spend time with myself..i remember when i used to just go down to subway with a book to read there..or some work to do there..no appointments that kinda thing..go at my own time..when i like it..where i like it..how i like it..don't have to try to accomodate others..don't have to compromise on myself..i remember when i could walk around a shopping centre and window shop by myself..and just buy what i like..when i like..i don't know if it's just me..but i like being alone..i took the personality test..and true enough..i'm an introvert..yes i don't shun away from people..but i'm just the kind of person who doesn't need company..honestly..now the best time of day for me..is sitting around some place in nus..with a drink..and a cheesy mushroom puff from coffee club..with nice music playing from my laptop..doing my readings..or reading the bible..or doing some work..the weather should be fairly good too..like now..like the weather at around 9am in the morning..wah that's like the best man..so aniwaes..on the flip side..my life has been rather hectic..alot of happenings..alot of drama..which i actually do not care for..i like a smooth sailing life..even if it seems boring to some..i just like things to just be pleasant..ya so about my hectic life..yar..sch has been a big worry..my maths module esp..i'm absolutely not getting anything..why why why..is it that difficult or is it just me..i tried doing my tutorial last nite..i couldn't understand what was in the notes..argh..it's really frustrating..and i am gonna do up all my tutorials today coz tomz is gonna be a long day for me..tutorial after tutorial..argh..i dunno if i can take it..yea..looking forward to spending time with charmaine later at nite..btw..happy birthday to joy and jaq who have just turned TWENTY! hehe..soon it'll be my turn..but..actually thinking about it..i'm barely 19..so..hehe..i'm still enjoying my teenage years lah..alritey..gonna print out my notes now..and then start my disgustingly busy day..lecture in arts..then lecture in science..den maths tutorial..which i'm soooo dreading..haiz..i'm so sleepy..*yawns*

2005-01-31T18:57:00.000+08:00

heylow pple!! its been a long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long time that i last blogged man. haha. i'm in nus now! though i didn't really absorb anything but i guess its the company that i wanna come down for. not really to gain knowledge or whatever. think i've got enough of stress from Temasek Polytechnic. kinda lst touch from here man, but nonetheless, gonna start blogging in here from now on. yep! nothing much to update u guys. so i guess, that's all folks! haha.

*Take Me, Mould Me, Fill Me, Lead me*

2005-01-19T22:48:00.000+08:00

haha actually u dun need to read the blog for updates andrew..u should know alot more than wad's written here rite..

hmm updates..well u'll only be getting one-sided ones i guess..sch's been a drag..and i'm no longer sick..well kinda..yar..just coughing abit now..thanks for all ur prayers n all that..yea..

so wad if the 10th month approaches..when i look back..do i smile or do i worry? haiz..

i wanna catch up with old frens..life is getting abit mundane..i like hanging around ppl who don't know wad's going on..so i can really have fun when i'm with them..

yet sometimes..it's nice just spending time with myself..

i realise i can't really express myself..hmm..that's quite bad for an arts student huh..ya..but i really hate it when people misunderstand me..and it's quite annoying when you have to behave in a certain way just so that u ensure people wont misunderstand u..am i making sense here?

life goes on...

2005-01-12T10:17:00.000+08:00

t'was our 9th month together yesterday..but it was bad..coz i wasn't feeling well..so we couldn't really go out..plus he topped his class in some test..that would obviously be worth some celebration..but..we didn't have any..it's quite disappointing..but oh well..
am feeling even more horrible today..throat's really bad..in the lecture theatre now with no lecturer..how irresponsible..he's like 20 minutes late..if he's even coming..i'm so annoyed..
i can't wait to move in with charmaine tonight..it's gonna be fun nite i believe..with good company..and no pressure..yups..
people are starting to leave the LT..hmm..should i leave too..i could be doing more constructive stuff seriously..i need a pin of some sort or a rubber band..argh..my hair is irritating my face..argh..is the lecturer coming or not..annoyinG!
oh i chatted with joanne yesterday on msn..hit it off with her quite well..she's quite a sweet gal..yea..yay i made a new fren..
seriously if the lecturer is not here in 10 minutes..i'm gonna leave..
yay desmond's gonna sit in Science of Music lect with me..and then we can have lunch in FASS canteen again..can't wait man..another 90 minutes before i get to see him..
i'm craving for genki..i wonder why..i think i just miss the steamed egg thingy..it's so healthy tasting..and it warms your throat..i want that..hmm..maybe can hop over to YIH later to have some genki! sheesh..i'm so bored..
school has been alrite so far..lectures are really boring coz the first lecture is always about housekeeping matters..ya but i've actually only attended 2 lectures so far..maths and science of music..supposed to be 3 by now..but this lecturer doesn't seem to be coming lah..yea aniwaes..the maths lecturer was horrible..he mumbles..i always think science ppl are kinda eccentric..weird..talk to themselves n that kinda stuff..haha..but it's not too bad lah..i have sophia for company..yeaps..oh i like the science of music lecturer..even though he really talks alot of crap..but at least i understand him..yar..and he seems like a really nice guy..makes the module even more likeable..yeaps..
alrite that's it..i'm walking out..will call joanne so that she can pass me the keys..den maybe go shop at science co-op..hmm yea ok..i'll be back later..

2005-01-10T01:34:00.000+08:00

Don't go changing, to try and please me
You never let me down before
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And i don't see you anymore

I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times; i'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are

Don't go trying some new fashion
Don't change the colour of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Although i might not seem to care

I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that i can talk to
I want you just the way you are

I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that i knew
What will it take till you believe in me
The way that i believe in you

I said i love you and that's forever
And this i promise from the heart
I could not love you any better
I love you just the way you are

2005-01-06T13:16:00.000+08:00

*yawns*..just woke up..throat's really bad..n i just realised i havent done alot of things..k gotta remind karen to cash the cheque so that we can all get back some money this sunday..yay..and it's cell group this sunday so i need to get someone to lead worship..i definitely can't lead in this state..thinking of weiming..but i hope they're not too busy with sch work..oh ya..n i haven't prepared bible study for this sunday..n i gotta call the people n ask who's going for Pearl's thing asap..argh..so many things to do..
so aniwaes...i got my science of music module!!!!! hehe..yeaps i'm superbly happy..really really really very happy...coz i din expect to get it...n Charmaine said it's quite a breeze..so..woohoo! thank God man!! suddenly looking forward to this sem..hehe..oh n so far i've only got 2 modules..social work n science of music..yeaps..my timetable this sem is gonna be sadness..haha..no more 3-day week for me..but nvm..hope the hostel thing with charmaine n danielle works out man..it'll so fun to be able to have ladies nite whenever we want..in NUS..hehe..living with buddies..cool..really hope i get all the modules i bidded for man..n i hope calculus isn't too tough..yeaps..
oh btw..during CDC..haha..learnt lotsa stuff..(i take the whole day of hanging out with the girls as CDC)..yea..submitting to ur husband (or simply someone u love) vs submitting to God..yeaps..i will try my best not to be like Sarah..guess she din really have God in her life..i want God to be like no. 1 in my life so that i don't care what others think of me..i just care what God thinks of me..yea..i'll try..God being my guide..
alritey..going bugis later to buy pearl's present..oh n i think i'm staying over at joy's on sat! yay! it's gonna be so much fun!!!

2005-01-03T01:47:00.000+08:00

When my heart is overwhelmed
I will run into Your open arms
When i don't know what to do
Jesus, my first love, i'll look to You

Come and hold me and guide me
You walk beside me
Take me to fly with You

I'll rise
just like an eagle i will soar
and forever i will give to You
my heart and soul

I know
Your love won't ever let me go
In You i find my strength, my hiding place...

2004-12-30T03:27:00.000+08:00

having a bad headache now...argh..bidding for modules is always so stressful..i want a less stressful curriculum next sem..i'm kinda in a state of trauma still due to my very horrific results..argh..yea trauma is the word..but aiyo..i really dunno wad modules to take...haiz..kk..should pray about it..yeaps..looking forward to thanksgiving dinner man..hope the nite is fun..and the monopoly re-match..and the fellowship with focus cell..ok shall start the year off rite..God shall launch 2005 with me..hehe..i need some help with my choice of modules..yea must ask karen about social work..thinking of doing that so i can fulfill my exposure requirements..then thinking of genes and society and science of music..shall ask charmaine..ooh and french..diana n sophia can help out man..argh..it's gonna be hectic all over again...but..i really enjoyed the hols lah..before my results came out that is..yea..it's was really fulfilling..and i thoroughly enjoyed myself..really..yeaps..hmm..mich is going back australia soon..been neglecting her i think..argh..feel bad..but...argh..it's just so difficult to make time..
blogs galore~!

2004-12-27T17:52:00.000+08:00

woo it's been a really long time since i last blogged here..
thanksgiving dinner is coming soon...and now that i have some 'me-time' (haha charmaine's line)..i've got time to think about people who have touched my life in one way or another throughout this whole year..and here..i wanna give thanks..
this is gonna go in the order of my train of thoughts ya..n i've got short term memory..so pls forgive me if i don't add in some stuff...
first of all..i wanna thank God for the people he's allowed to enter into my life..coz the gd n bad experiences this year all moulded me to be the girl i am today..i wanna thank Him for being such a dear fren to me during all my down periods..n for never letting go of me..i love Jesus..
my birthday celebration was a really really beautiful memory..wanna thank the people who conveniently gave me a scare in the early hours of Christmas eve..haha..namely Charmaine, Danielle, Desmond, Andrew, Karen, Mark, Aaron, Sylvia..to Char n Danielle..u gals r like the sweetest frens man..the cake was a success..so yummy..n yea..u two r really invincible..can do anything if u put ur mind n heart to it..but aniwaes..thanks alot for being there for me throughout this whole year..guess there were periods that i kinda took u guys for granted..like during the youth camp..yea..but times spent with u guys were always fun..n u never gave up on me..so thanks a million..to Desmond..this year has been FULL of ups n downs with u..but we've made it through..thanks to God..n also to some frens who talked to each of us..yeaps..i want u to know that u've been really sweet..n yea..u're my longest r/s man! haha..alritey..thanks Andrew for listening when i start my complaining..haha..even though we always exchange rainbows..haha..but still frens lah huh..yeaps..Karen..a very sweet sis with a heart of gold..u've been a source of encouragement..thanks for everything...Marko..haha i've never kena pms-ed by u..hehe..but yea..u've been a nice guy to talk to sometimes..haha..n to play with..esp when i xialan u..den u xialan me back..hehe..to Aaron n Sylvia..u guys are great role models..to all..thanks for taking the time to make my bdae so special n memorable..

2004-11-11T01:40:00.000+08:00

am studying now..hope i can stay awake..must finish up what i set out to do or i'll never sleep in peace..been slacking so much yesterday and today..i kinda feel guilty..hmmm...
you know...sometimes when u study..u feel so alone..yar it's a horrible feeling..feels good when u study with ppl..coz u noe that there are ppl who are in this with you..
you know...i wish i had a personal fairy or something liddat..then like whenever i need anything..i can call on it..haha..like now..i'm craving for roti prata..den my magical fairy can get it for me by just snapping fingers..it'll feel soooo gd..den like when i need someone to talk to if i'm super stressed up or something..can just have a nice conversation with my fairy over a cup of tea or something..hehe..and when i need help trying to understand some of my work..i can always ask my fairy..wah..if only...haha..if only...
jessie's leaving for sawang tomorrow..may God watch over her and guide her in her service to the Lord..
shark tale was a disappointment really...sad...
haiz...i really hope all this studying gets me somewhere...gd nite ppl..

2004-11-07T20:39:00.000+08:00

gosh..seriously man..thank God i found fella!!..he was like lost the WHOLE day!!!..in the morning when i was about to leave the house..realised it wasn't in its cage..but din have time to look for him then..so just prayed that it'll be safe n that we would be able to find it soon...so basically whenever i walked around the house..i would be staring at the floor..at the corners..see if there was any moving creature or something..but nothing..was really really sad man..ya then just now i kinda gave up hope..like tot it was probably not in the house anymore or it died or something..den suddenly..heard some scratching sounds..the kind fella always makes..n i realised it came from the woofeR!!! like oh my gosh rite..ya..there was a hole in the speaker..n i just knew it had to be fella in there..so we tried all ways and means to get it out..like tilting the woofer...shaking it..that kinda stuff..den also put food near the hole so it would come out..den finally saw its cute face..and those innocent eyes..staring at us..and we were all sooooo excited..all 4 of us screamed..ya..den fella went back in..probably freaked him out..haha..but in the end..guess he was hungry..and he came out..gosh i'm sooooo sooooo happy..fella's like my confidant..i was even intending to buy another hamster if i couldn't find him by tomz..but thank God really..now i've got company during my late nites studying....phew!

2004-11-03T23:08:00.000+08:00

i think the nus system kinda screws up ur brain abit..it's so annoying..everytime i gotta do a major essay..i'll like devote my whole brain to it..so i'll neglect other modules' tutorials or assignments or wadeva..i can't multi-task u see..so once i'm done with the essay..i would haf alot of insight to that particular topic and that particular module..and i would kinda be quite hyped up for it..but then..i'm never able to carry on that enthusiasm coz quite soon after that..we gotta do another major term paper for another very different module..ya then it's sooooo irritating coz i gotta like adjust my brain to suit a totally different thing when i havent even satisfied my hunger for the previous module's stuff..haiz..it's like..u FINALLY get interested in one of ur subjects..and then u're forced to quickly change ur interest to something else..not good for my brain..............
but anyway..all my major papers have been submitted..now the only assignment i have left is a 500 word essay for film and history..hope that one goes ok..oh..and does anyone haf the L.A. Confidential vcd or dvd or wadeva?..i need it urgently..lemme noe k..thanks!
yups..so i'm TRYING to study now..but i've been soooo tired..i keep falling asleep..it's disgusting...but i really wanna do well lah..would be a really big morale boost..
oh oh!! i got back my politics term paper..and thank God i got an A minus...totally unexpected really..so so so so happy..haha..gotta pray hard for the rest of my term papers..the suspense is really killing me man..haha..
k i wanna study...i MUST study..pls discipline urself cheryl..go go..shoo shoo...

you know, to me, the nicest thing in the whole wide world..is to have someone you can fully trust..someone you can totally count on for support..someone who can make you happy..and someone who loves you for who you are...

2004-11-02T17:00:00.000+08:00

i really haf an urge to just scold all the freakin vulgarities tt i know, kill somebody right now, ans ask God damn a lot of questions. i'm feeling really perplexed. feeling really down. feeling really useless. feeling really hopeless. time and time again, i let pple down. time and time again, i just wanna gif up. time and time again, i tried my best and God said He'll do the rest. but time and tme again, i was left in the lurch. today was my ssup paper. it was horrible. i got a high chance of failing dis paper. i practiced past year papers, i went for the remedial lecture, i went for tutorials, i tried and re-tried the papers. i went into the exam hall feeling confident tt dis time i can defeat the paper. i prayed before the paper, and i felt peace. but when i looked through the questions, i was discouraged. during the paper, i prayed, i cried out to the Lord, saying "Lord, why is all these happening to me? are u gonna do the rest for me?" and then i continue doing the paper. i manage to do some questions tt i skipped and i was really excited. i kept saying "praise u Lord, praise u! thank you thank you thank you." was just really happy. but when i counted all the marks tt i think i can get, i failed. was really demoralised. showed black face all the way home. shouted at pple who called me. i'm sorry. i'm guilty. i'm discouraged. i'm scared. somebody help me. is there anybody out there?

2004-10-31T23:21:00.000+08:00

well. i've got no inspiration to blog now man. but just wanna blog lah, coz like damn bad lah, everytime cheryl blog. haha. yah, today something freakin big happen lah. [the following entry is gonna be a lil gay, so plz don't try dis at home] yah, dis really close friend of mine had an accident and he doesn't wanna reveal who he is. so we assume he's Bob. yep. bob's one of my really close fren whom i share ALMOST everything to. yah so, today we were having some activity in some community lah. den its something like games day, and we played dog and bone. haha. one of his favourite lah, or should i say his favourite. okay, so his number was called and he's supposed to run lah, so he ran and got the bone and ran back. somehow, dis deek fell and he fell on his palm, which means his whole body weight was supported by only one of his hand lah. yah, so it dislocated. at first, nobody gave a shit abt him, as usual. until he shouted "shit shit, my elbow spoil." den pple started coming around, and when he roll up his sleeve, his freakin bone was like jutting out lah. kinda reminded me of "faces of death" lah. wah lau eh, damn sick man. but, yah, he walked off wif a smile and joking and all tt. [just like me when i langah last time] yah. den after he was fetched to the hospital, the game continued. yah. so we played, and all tt. but when we're having lunch, i just felt very very horrible, like not a good feeling lah. but i kept quiet all the way till i had a meeting, den i told one of my friend who was sitting beside me, and i told him, "eh shit, i'm feeling damn uncomfortable, i think i gotta pray." den i just shu my eyes and kept praying praying. yah, but nobody knew lah, coz they were praying also, but praying for other stuff lah. haha. yah. den i was still feeling kinda uncomfortable, tt's why i showed a lil black face during the meeting. den after the meeting, we went downstairs to prepare for some publicity stuff, so i just called one of my friend who's wif him at the hospital lah, and ask how are things wif him and all tt. and praise God! he's fine. his bone's re-located and he's just waiting for his x-ray. i was like damn relieved lah. haha. den i went back to the room and rehearsed the skit pretty well. [wif a smiley face and all] yah. so i was like thinking, "wah! fall down, disloacted his bone only i feel so shit already, i cannot imagine any of my close friends or relative dying sial." den when i got home today, just thank God for all my fans out there! and really lah, appreciate u all man. yep. somehow or rather, u all just made my life complete lah. haha. sounds gay right? haha. yah lah. so i urge u all to just take a lil time off and thank God for pple whom are dear to u, before u don't even haf a chance to next time. yep. ciao. =)

*i specially appreciate and thank God for HER*

2004-10-29T23:30:00.000+08:00

yeaps doing my film and history essay now..writing on Rashomon..a really good black and white film..catch it if u can..yeaps aniwaes i've had so many things in my head for the past few days that i keep forgetting to do stuff..argh..gotta sit down and work out an agenda for myself..
it was really weird today..des and i somehow got on the topic of ben and i couldn't stop talking bout him..argh..like memories just rushed back into my head..alot of memories..really weird..
aniwaes my parents are safely back home! thank God..oh ya..and i might be bringing mommy to church this sunday..but i'm going for service with focus cell leh..hmm..gotta think of a good arrangement..hope i can finish the essay by tomz..so that i can thoroughly enjoy myself this sunday..yeaps..keep sleeping nowadays..been so tired..it's like..in the train this morning i slept..in lecture today i slept..then while studying i slept..and then on the ride home i slept too..so lethargic..bad bad..maybe i should get myself some caffeine..tea!
mich will be coming back on nov 16..so early..and i've got exams during that period..so sad..but i miss her real bad man..it's the kind of frenship whereby you don't have to see each other every day..but u just know u can always count on them..you just know they care for you..it's a great feeling..actually..i always thought a relationship should be this way too..but..i dunno..it's just really hard..aniwae mich strive on ya! i'm praying for you!
i ate so much today..i think i'm really really stressed..btw the pasta from arts canteen is really really gd..and the fried fish meat noodles..and the cheng tng..and the yong tau foo..and the shanghai food..it's all good..must try!!
k i gotta get back to working on my essay..those having exams..keep it going..God bless!

2004-10-28T16:33:00.000+08:00

Mich!! i saw the lyrics n i immediately thought of you..i miss you soooo much gal!! and i hope u're doing fine..this is for YOU!

I don't have to say

a word to you

You seem to know

whatever mood

I'm going through

Feel as though

I've known you forever

You

Can look into my eyes and see

The way i feel

And how the world is treating me

Maybe i have known you forever

Amigos para siempre

Means you'll always be my friend

Amics per sempre

Means a love that cannot end

Friends for life

Not just a summer or a spring

Amigos para siempre

I feel you near me

Even when we are apart

Just knowing you are in this world

Can warm my heart

Friends for life

Not just a summer or a spring

Amigos para siempre

We share memories

I won't forget

And we'll share more,

my friend,

We haven't started yet

Something happens

When we're together

When

I look at you

I wonder why

There has to come

A time when we must say goodbye

I'm alive when we're together

Amigos para siempre

means you'll always be my friend

Amics per sempre

means a love that cannot end

Friends for life

Not just a summer or a spring

Amigos para siempre

I feel you near me

Even when we're apart

Just knowing you are in this world

Can warm my heart

Friends for life

Not just a summer or a spring

Amigos para siempre

love you gal! hope you're doing good..and you can always count on my prayers..i miss you..thanks for being such a wonderful best friend..take care..till we meet again! *hugs*

-cHeRyL-

2004-10-24T22:47:00.000+08:00

hmm. well, as some of u know tt i failed 2 of my modules dis sem. feeling the tension now, as in i've nvr taken 2 supplementary papers at one go. i really haf no idea if i can make it dis time. really struggling to study. at the back of my head is like "no problem lah, still got abt one week. can wan lah hor?" but in the whole of my head was like "shit! if fail how? mark graduated, he can play already!! aiyah, nvm lah. the NUS pple still studying, can study wif them." haha. quite jian lah, but tt's how my mind battles thoughts man. haha. really man. so kind brethens out there. PLEASE pray for me. let the holy spirit lead u on what to pray. Lord, u must help me dis time!! okay okay, i promise i'll study. deliver me yah? must must pass, die die must pass! argh. stress stress. nvm, u can do it desmond! u can u can.

2004-10-22T13:13:00.000+08:00

working on my SE term paper now..think i'm progressing quite well lah..haha..as in flow of ideas quite smooth..thank God for that..slept in today..so decided not to go for EL lect..was so tired..but the 8 hr rest was gd lah..at least i dun feel sleepy now..ya..so actually i wanted to just stay home to do my stuff today instead of studying in sch..but then while i was brushing my teeth..i suddenly remembered that i had to hand in my film and history essay by noon..and i was like..ARGH! but..thank God i remembered in time..den din really need to rush to sch..and yeaps i've handed in my essay..not really confident..so sad..after one setback..it's so hard to regain that confidence and optimism i used to have..but i really just entrust the paper in God's hands lah..wadeva grade i get will be what he wants me to have..yeaps so i'll take my mind off it..haha..still remember yest when i was wif charmaine..rushing to edit my essay..den we were so irritated that we couldn't reduce the no. of words..coz i exceeded the word limit lah..so char got so frustrated..den she just leaned back in exasperation..and said, "aiya no choice lah..change the font size"..haha..den i was like..ooh..gd idea..so i changed to size 11..den i compared with my previous essays which were size 12..den like can see a difference leh..so in the end char told me to change my font totally..haha..so that it's hard for the lecturers to compare..hehe..such underhanded means rite..feel so 'jian'..haha..
aniwaes..it's gonna rain soon..thunder and all..and i'm safely in the library..i sneaked in my lunch lor..i'm horrible man..haha..k i gotta be efficient now and do wad i wanna get done by today..before i leave sch..discipline cheryl discipline..haha..oh btw was thinking about it..and i think the hardest thing about relationships between humans..is putting aside self-pride..yeap..and then..it's always the ones you love that you hurt the most..because it's always the ones you love the most..that you also have the most pride as well as expectation..hmm..am i making sense..abit abstract..but..ya i think i'm quite prideful when around ppl i'm closer to..it's just this weird feeling..den wanna apologise oso cannot..coz ur tongue somehow gets tied..and the little devil in you says no no no..but i pray that God will help me in this aspect lah..and that ppl will understand me?..can give in then give in lor..haha..i miss u too! *winks*

2004-10-21T13:50:00.000+08:00

Dear God,

I wanna thank You for everything tt's happening in my life.
I wanna thank You for granting me tt extra bit of patience.
Father, I wanna be in Your arms right now!! [i mean right now!!]
But Father, while waiting for You to come back,
I wanna make more talents tt u left me with.
I wanna be a good and faithful servant.
i wanna see a smile on Your face when You judge me.
But Lord, I cannot do this with my own strength.
Father, help me.
In Jesus' name, Amen..

Jesus, I believe in You
Jesus, I belong to You
You're the reason tt I live,
You're the reason tt I sing
With all I am,
I'll worship You.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For her,

i'll be glad cause i was blessed to get
To have you in my life
in my heart there'll always be a place for you for all my life
i'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere i am there you'll be
And i always will remember all the strength you gave to me
Your love made me make it through
Oh i owe so much to you
You were right there for me
in my heart there'll always be a place for you for all my life
i'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere i am there you'll be
Cause i always saw in you my light my strength
And i want to thank you now for all the ways
You were right there for me

2004-10-21T11:37:00.000+08:00

done with my 500 word essay..now in the canteen waiting for Charmaine..hope she can proof read for me to see if i was spouting too much crap..well aniwaes i'm really unprepared for my 2000 word term paper that's due on monday..havent even started..havent even researched..argh..scared scared scared..it's raining now..showers of blessing man..love the weather now..perfect for...hmm...sleeping..haha..but also gd weather for doing work lah..at least it's not humid that u perspire so much that u just feel so uncomfortable..yucks..annoying feeling..got project group meeting later..pray that all will go smoothly..that everyone will be cooperative..and that we'll be efficient so that i can concentrate on my term paper once i get this stupid project off my mind..Danielle..i like very long never see u leh..hehe..suddenly thought of u..yes i miss you..haha..can just imagine you and your funny hand movements going "really???"..haha..but nvm i'll see you at Dinos tonite!!..i miss having my brain empty leh..haha..it hasn't really had the chance to do that ever since i entered nus..sad man..can't wait for the holidays..den can empty my brain again..the feeling's really gd leh..haha..but not many ppl haf the skill of thinking of nothing..i'm special! haha..k lah..gotta go do some research or else i'll have nothing to contribute at the meeting later..cya guys!

2004-10-20T10:46:00.000+08:00

yeaps still on the noah's ark thingy..did you know that it was only after the flood that God allowed us to eat meat?..dat means adam and eve and all the people who lived before the flood were vegetarians..haha..cool rite..i just found out..yea so aniwaes..the significance of building altars in the past was to show that God has been working there and then..like God does something in your life and you wanna let people know that your God has been working in you..so you build an altar..and altars were pretty elaborate..meaning it would have taken alot of effort for the people at that time to build them..but of coz..that little bit of trouble couldn't be compared to the magnificence of their God..and since the building of altars were a rather big affair..so people who walked past the altars would also realise the God who works..the real and living God..yups..in this day and age..of coz building of altars is not very practical coz we can't literally build altars wherever and whenever we want..prob only can build altars at home..but nonetheless..this doesn't mean that God should be discounted of his good works..there are so many different ways in which we can 'build altars' for our father in heaven..basically..as long as it involves speaking of God's good name to other people..or just simply jotting down and making a mark somewhere that signifies that God has been at work there..they would all be parallel to building altars..so like telling your frens about how God has been working in your life..how he has been so gd to you..is like building an altar for him in your fren..and like keeping a journal on the stuff that's happening in your life..and how u've prayed and God has answered is also like building an altar coz it's a mark of God's goodness..yups..many other different ways for us to build altars for our Lord and Saviour..so think bout it..and start proclaiming God's good name to the world! btw this issue was brought up during vcf on monday by Chris..very inspiring and something to really think about..
still have 2 essays and one presentation due..haiz..hope i'm efficient today and get my first essay done..so i can concentrate on my other stuff..yes i must be disciplined..
Nick fam enlisting today..wanna wish him all the best..may God be with him every step of the way..so that he'll not succumb to temptations that are rather prevalent in there..and that he'll never stray from his Saviour..all the best nick! take gd care of yourself..
kays kays..back to my work now..take care people!

2004-10-19T22:03:00.000+08:00

woh woh woh. its been like 50 gazillion years since i'd last blogged man. haha. okay. hmm. nothing really much happened in my life. and i'm still like that, honestly, still on-off wif my QT. had not been feeling inspired man. i know tt's not the point, but, yah. just kinda lazy, i'm trying k? hmm. oh!! jinfa's gonna recommend us to the life bookshop's big shot, and hopefully can get the job man. really like tt kinda job, and i've always felt inspired whenever i walk into the bookshop. really hope i can get the job sial. pray pray pray!

oh. there's one thing tt cheryl shared wif me. and i think its really good, so i wanna share it wif u all. hmm. remember noah's ark? yah, after the rain and flood, Noah found a plot of dry land and he built a temple to worship and praise God. likewise, in our daily lives, we can too, build temples to glorify and acknowledge Him. one thing we can do is to proclaim or just keep a journal of His' deeds for u, the things He did for u. so tt when one day, u read back in ur journal, u can remember and see tt God had actually done so much in ur life. since He's done so much for us, why not we show a lil gratitude like Noah and give Him due credit for what He's done for us? one thing tt cheryl and i agreed is tt we can actually use dis blog to proclaim what He's done for us for the day. and when pple reads it, they'll know how real God is and they'll be encouraged. so ets just spend a lil time and leave a lil space for giving God His' credits yah?

* best period of my life. can see light! *

2004-10-18T09:21:00.000+08:00

I'm in school now..and a cool wind just blew at my face..into my hair..and it feels sooooo good..it's gonna rain..and i just love the climate now..not too hot..not too cold..being in nus is sorta like being in touch with nature..the greenery and all..and i like it..many people say nus is like so old in its architechture and all..but..i like it..gives it a vintage feel..a perfect complement to its beautiful surroundings..gosh i'm just sitting back and marvelling at God's wonderful creation..it's really a great great feeling to get a load off your mind..and then u can just clear your mind for a moment and really open your eyes to see the pretty lil' stuff that we often don't even notice..my politics essay is finally done..yes..the key word here is finally..and i even did the footnotes stuff and bibliography myself..must give me credit for that man..for a person who doesn't even noe how to underline stuff with microsoft word..haha..
In lecture now..politics lecture..but i don't care..not listening..it's like i shut my mind right after i handed up my essay..yes..and later i'm just gonna sit back and relac and watch ong bak..aiya wake up lah cheryl! as if u can relax liddat..after watching the film still must write essay..haiz..HAIZ!
k i'm gonna start on my 500 word essay by tomz..and i wanna get it done before thur..and then i can concentrate on my presentation and another major 2000 word term paper that's due on monday...haiyo..i have sooooo many things to do..thank God i no longer haf to juggle my tuitions as well..hope everything goes well..really..sometimes i think i have too high expectations of myself..and it's because of that that i'm always so stressed up..but..i noe the feeling of failure..and i don't wanna experience it if i can avoid it..but i oso wanna thank God for the people who have been helping me cope with the stress along the way..big thanks to Desmond for helping me with my research stuff..my project group meeting today went well by the way..big thanks also to Charmaine..for proof-reading my essay..everytime i have you around to proof-read my stuff..i somehow just feel more confident and less worried..really admire you for being able to cope with honours year stuff man..*salutes* And to everyone else who has been there for me..esp. the dinos people..u guys are such fun-loving people..and whenever i'm around you guys..i kinda am able to take my mind off some sad stuff..*smiles*
Am gonna watch Lagaan tomz..can't wait man..for anyone who can get your hands on that show..watch it!! it's very gd..though approx. 4 hrs long..haha..but for anyone who can appreciate Bollywood antics..it's a really fantastic and meaningful show..
Oh i'm going for VCF later..haha..it's been a really long time since i've been around there man..but..i shall go..to pei Charmaine..they're doing Genesis..which we've pretty much covered in dinos..
kayz will be off now..later!

2004-10-15T10:45:00.000+08:00

i'm done with my e lang test..haha..i think i totally couldn't be bothered..finished the test as quickly as i could..den just handed in..just wanted to get over and done with it..but oh yes..i feel soooo gd now..just got my essay to worry about..2000 words leh!!! with bibliography leH!!! argh..i really have no idea how it'll turn out but let's hope it's something presentable..haha..*crosses fingers*
yesterday's dinos was really really nice..so comfy with everyone..i really enjoyed myself..*smiles*

Tale as old as time

True as it can be

Barely even friends

Then somebody bends

Unexpectedly

Just a little change

Small to say the least

Both a little scared

Neither one prepared

Beauty and the Beast

Ever just the same

Every a surprise

Ever as before

Ever just a sure

As the sun will rise

Tale as old as time

Tune as old as song

Bittersweet and strange

Finding you can change

Learning you were wrong

Certain as the sun

Rising in the east

Tale as old as time

Song as old as rhyme

Beauty and the Beast

2004-10-11T10:06:00.000+08:00

i feel sick..like phlegm n all that..argh..horrible..n i'm soooo sleepy..yet i've got sch till late..and still gotta rush for tuition later..argh..luckily i've got tomz to rest..i din bring my hp today..and i feel so lost..can't contact anyone..wad if charmaine msges me to go for lect together..aiya..how on earth does the internet sms thing work ah..i can't seem to get it..argh..sick sick sick..feeling horrible..and the new topic for e lang is so difficult to grasp..and there's a test on friday..how perfect rite..argh...sick sick sick..

2004-10-11T01:51:00.000+08:00

yay..finally done with my museum report..though there's so much crap in it..it can probably form a rubbish heap man..haiz..so tired..so tired..brain drain..brain drain..HAIZ!! fri got another test!!! there never seems to be enough time to catch my breath..haiz..oh well..such is life i guess...
aniwaes..cell group was real good today..though attendance not say very fantastic lah..but..their enthusiasm was commendable..and i really enjoy their company..oh and it was so funny how wilson blushed when jessie complimented him..haha..damn farnie lah he..i hope the members who din attend today are doing fine..dun too stress lah..exams are not that big a thing..after u get used to it lah..haha..
oh wah! kelvin wrote testimonial for me sia..wad's the date ah..can buy 4-D man..haha..
danielle..hope u're on toking terms with ur mom liao..and oh ya..all the best!! *winks* haha..
charmaine..we went bombing today and missed you..hope u're taking care of urself..dun too stress k...smile!
haiz..tomz got tuition..my very last lesson..argh...it's like the monster has let go of me..yet is still holding on to me by the toes..quick let me go!!!
God is really good leh..and he's so real to me nowadays..i like the feeling..it's like having my best fren follow me wherever i go..*smiles*
k it's bed time..hope the day goes well tomz..hope i dun fall asleep during the movie..hope i will clarify whatever work i'm not sure about..hope i can at least get a pass for the museum report..hope i can pass my sociology test..hope i remember to do my stuff..haha..k..i've let it all out..feel better..can go to sleep with a light head now..*yawns* bye!!

2004-10-09T13:06:00.000+08:00

just had a hearty breakfast..haha..first time in a really long while i had breakfast with my family..daddy cooked eggs..ham..hashbrowns..toast..beans..mmm...nice..den oso had a nice chat with my mom..it was cool lah..so aniwaeS!! haha..cheng tong msged me on frenster man...how unbelievable rite..yea n we had a pretty nice 'conversation'..just kept exchanging messages..but sad lah..we got no topic..only can tok bout superficial stuff..it's so weird..coz we have a really awkward history..and to tok to him now..hmm..just like very farnie lah..haha..oh he's in air force by the way..not bad not bad...
yesterday's shopping trip was really good..bought a really nice skirt..ankle socks..3 pairs for 5 bucks leh!!..oh and oso bought a pencil case..and earrings!!..so shiok lah..the feeling..just buy buy buy..yea..i need more clothes!!!!..i need another shopping trip!!!..shopping really de-stresses me man..instant remedy..but..got my museum report due on monday..*sobs*

2004-10-08T01:13:00.000+08:00

i've FINALLY got my life back!!! YaY!!!..no more tuition!!!!(at least for the next 2 months)..fwah 3 tuition sessions today and i was literally smiling after every single one of them..yes..walking down the street..smiling to myself..would have loved to have someone to scream hysterically and jump up and down with me..but oh well..i just settled with a smile..i'm really really really very happy...REALLY!!..yeap now i have all my time to myself..and I choose what i wanna do with it..YaY!!
weLL aniwae..i guess another reason why i can rejoice is because i've completed my eSsaY!!! like FINALLY man..big thanks to Charmaine for pointing out the crap i wrote..haha..but yea she was really a big help..Love u gaL! i'm soooooo happy...u have no idea...
oh and today..i woke up late..lect at 12..and i woke up at like 11.15..so..was rushing and rushing..and then i realised i have no clothes to wear..so i browsed through my mom's wardrobe and picked out this green singlet to try on..and it was just soooooo comfortable..why?? coz it's made of pure silk!!!..Wow ritE!! so the silk kept me cool the whole day and i hardly sweat..such a cool piece of clothing..yeaps..
i hope i wake up in time tomorrow..for my english lect..somehow tomorrow's like the start of my carefree life and i'm sooooo looking forward to it..*smiles*
oh ya!!..forgot to add..cheng tong added me on frenster!!! like woah man..haha..burns would know and start going crazy with me..haha..yea..he was my eye candy in JC..smart, cute, rich..oh well..those were the days..haha..yes yes..i must tell the gals when i meet them again..we'll probably go mad for around 15 minutes..haha..eye candies were our only sense of motivation to go to school then u see..haha..so we would go like goo goo ga ga everytime we saw them walking down the corridor..or in the canteen..or wadeva..cheng tong cheng tonG!! haha..
good nite everyone..i'm sleeping sweetly tonite..

2004-10-07T01:48:00.000+08:00

I could give you all you seek and pleased you would be
You’ll have what you want but you wont know me
You will not know the depth of my love for you
You’ll not know the power I give to the faint
You’ll not learn to see through clouds of despair
You’ll not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there
You’ll not know the joy of resting on me
When darkness and silence is all you see
You’ll never know should your pain quickly flee
What it means that my grace is sufficient for thee
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight will come true
But there is loss if I lost what I am doing in you
So be silent my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest gift of all is to truly know me
And though my answers seem terribly late
My most precious answer of all is still to wait

* I'll hav a part of u wif me. so everywhere i go, there you'll be. *

2004-10-06T11:08:00.000+08:00

k lecture was really really boring..so i left during the break..decided that i shouldn't waste my time there when i can be using the time to do my essay..yeap..aniwaes..just saw a squirrel!! sooooo cute..yups aniwae..must remember to pray for my cell group members coz all of them seem so stressed over their exams..esp the gals..a few of them even fell sick..this is bad..yea and even jin ping too...noe she's damn stressed over her promos..but..hey gal..u're not alone k..God will be with u thru all this horrible times and we r all keeping u in prayer..oh Leslie's taking his maths paper today..haha..i think i'm as stressed as him man..hope he can do the paper with ease..and i think he should be capable of it..just be more confident of urself boy!..yeap..and to everyone else out there who's dying due to disgusting exams..don't worry k..God performs miracles..He really does..all u gotta do is to have faith in Him..*smiles*..here's something to encourage you..if u can go d/l this song k..it's really nice..it's "World's Greatest" by R. Kelly..enjoy people!

I am a mountain

I am a tall tree

Oh I am the swift wind

Sweeping the country

I am a river

Down in the valley

Oh I am a vision

And I can see clearly

If anybody asks you who I am

Just stand up tall

Look 'em in the face and say

I'm that star up in the sky

I'm that mountain peak up high

Hey I made it

I'm the world's greatest

And I'm that little bit of hope

When my back's against the ropes

I can feel it

I'm the world's greatest

I am a giant

I am an eagle

Oh I am a lion

Down in the jungle

I am a marching band

I am the people

Oh I am the helping hand

I am the hero

If anybody asks you who I am

Just stand up tall

Look 'em in the face and say

I'm that star up in the sky

I'm that mountain peak up high

Hey i made it

I'm the world's greatest

I'm that little bit of hope

When my back's against the ropes

I can feel it

I'm the world's greatest

So no one told you life was gonna be this way

Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A.

It's like you're always stuck in second gear

And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month,

or even your year, But...

I'll be there for you

When the rain starts to pour

I'll be there for you

Like I've been there before

I'll be there for you

Cause you're there for me too...

You're still in bed at ten, and work began at eight

You've burned your breakfast

So far...things are going great

Your mother warned you there'd be days like these

Oh but she didn't tell you when the world has brought

You down to your knees, that...

I'll be there for you

When the rain starts to pour

I'll be there for you

Like I've been there before

I'll be there for you

Cause you're there for me too...

No one could ever know me

No one could ever see me

Seems you're the only one who knows

What it's like to be me

Someone to face the day with

Make it through all the rest with

Someone I'll always laugh with

Even at my worst, I'm best with you..yeah

I'll be there for you

Cause you're there for me too...

2004-10-06T09:42:00.000+08:00

in school now..doing my essay due on friday..giving myself 4 hours to do this 500 word essay before i go give tuition and then proceed to DINOS..oh well..let's just say God has been really really good..i mean like..seriously man..everythin happens for a reason..and God lets stuff happen for a reason too..it's just amazing lah..u noe the new implementation of the 5 day week..it's like..because of that..all my projects that are due on saturdays now have extended datelines till monday!..so cool rite..yar..and in a way it's less stressful lah..coz the due dates for my projects are now more spread out..yea..but i just realised that i have at least one project due every week..but yes..i shall not complain..haha..argh..can't wait for this week to be over..then i'll have more time to myself..no more tuition to give...arh!! can't wait can't wait..but then again..i really hope they do well..coz i noe how shitty it feels to do badly..yea i've been there.. =(
so aniwae..burns birthday is tomorrow!! happy birthday gal..she just asked me to do some stupid survey on brands of ice cream..haha..silly lah..but of coz..my all time favourite is ben n jerry's!! anyone wanna share a tub with me one day?..very long neva indulge in this sinful lil' thing liao..oops..lecture starting soon..alrite..i'll be back to continue my posting..take care people..

2004-10-04T23:16:00.000+08:00

Hey dudes!! My parents are talking again! My dad and my retarded cousin's talking again as well. Hmm. It felt really good seeing my family talking again. Yep. Really thank those who prayed for us. Appreciate it lots man! Oh oh!! Haha. I can touch my nose wif my lip man! Haha. it was kinda accidental though. Was actually struggling wif dis qn during my revision and i kinda pouted. Haha. Den i tried to stretch a lil more and i touched my nosE! Haha. Cheryl. I can do it too! Hmm. Woke up at 3pm today sial! haha. Strong eh? Den i went andrew foo's place to tann and study. But the tanning wasn't really successful though, not sure why i didn't turn darker. Damn. Anyway. Tml is exam man! damn scared, coz like i feel tt i didn't prepare as much as the past exams. So kinda worried. But i'll do my best and glorify God's name. Everything happens for a reason man. Haha. Okay lah. Don't really haf much to blog abt today, coz when i woke up, half my day was gone. Haha. Yep. Continue persevering in ur walk wif God yah? Let's keep our each other in prayer yah? Don't give up even if u face difficulties or u feel tt there's no point being a Christian afterall. We'll meet each other in heaven someday rite? Haha. Its tough though. Nothing's easy anyway. Haha. Go Go Go! =)

* I missed everything of her! *

2004-10-03T19:01:00.000+08:00

Yep. I've finally found my own self and i'm starting to work on it. haha. It was when i'm on a bus, i saw dis young guy, he reminds me of myself [mat specs, hairstyle and all]. and when i saw him, i really detested tt look man. And the way he acted was exactly like me, try to talk like mat, act romantic and all. quite sad lah. And perhaps God was trying to use him to tell mi tt, tt's u and its up to u whether u wanna change and be urself anot. Haha. sounds weird eh? But, yep. I've decided to be myself, and talk like myself constantly in front of classmates, malay friends, church friends and in front of my parents. I really wanna learn to be myself and i dun wanna live for pple anymore. Its getting nowhere, in fact its getting mi into more troubles! Yep. Rest assured guys, i'm in the process of changing, or should i say, i'm trying to be desmond once again. Yep. So do gif mi some comments if u see any change in mi yah? Good or bad changes, do tell mi yah? Hmm. Recently i've realised tt i've been changing of my mindsets and making alot of new resolutions and lotsa plans and goals in my life. Does tt always come, onli when i'm really sad, or hurt? Hmm. I hope to make it a point dis time tt it'll stay focused and constant, and i wanna be a guy whom u all remember is Desmond and not a guy who is a mat, a gangster, a christian, or a goodie boy at home. I wanna be Desmond Hoo Chuen Siang!

Hmm. Anyway, today was quite weird. Mark and Karen both asked mi at different times of the day tt "Do tell mi if u think u're ready to be a wroship leader." But both in different approach lah. Karen was out of the blue on msn, she suddenly tell mi tt. Mark was during a casual conversation den he suddenly popped tt. So, yep. I'll give it a serious thought, i'll not do things tt i'll regret again, and i'll do things tt God intended mi to. Still praying abt it and yah. will get to u all soon lah. Haha. Say until i like some big shot lidat. Haha. No lah. Really, just dun wanna be a worship leader coz of fame, but really to glorify God's name. Yep. Thanks for those who prayed for mi and family. Appreciate it alot. =)

* ta yi ding hui zhao dao gen hao de. *

2004-10-02T23:02:00.000+08:00

Hey good samaritans out there. What's up wif ur life man? I hope its going fine. Hmm. All will be fine if u're going thru some difficulties yah? Coz u know why? We've got a big guy up there who'll nvr forsake us!! So we don't forsake Him also k? Hmm. We must try our very best to please Him and try our very best to get going in life yah? We must learn to encourage each other more and tt we can in turn encourage ourselves. Well, if u can affirm tt friend of urs while encouraging him/her. And don't ever get tired of affirming coz being able to affirm is a blessing. And u noe tt being affrmed is the best way to encourage and u'll feel good if u're being praised rite? Yep. u nvr know how much affirmations tt friend of urs needs, but don't be tired yah? Let's live towards a Christ-like life. I bet dis term isn't foreign to u rite? But living it and saying it, its a totally different thing. Its difficult, its painful, its tiring, but think abt the fruits. u're living for eternity man! go for it. What's short-term pain? Hmm. Maybe i may sound cocky and like its-easier-said-than-done. But we've gotta start somewhere and i felt tt i gotta encourage some of u guys out there. So i'm here! If any of u are facing some real big problems and u're really tired, call mi yah? I'll be here wif u, and i'll lend u my listening ears. trust mi, i will. u can try. =)

Okay. Hmm. Dis portion's abt my personal life. Hmm. I myself am going through a very rough patch of my life. Everything's not right. My family almost split again. But dis tme its not parent-to-parent quarrel, but its my biker cousin and my dad. Things are really heated today. A fight almost broke out, but thank God, the situation was controlled. Next is my studies, after dis incident wif my dad and cousin, i've began to realise tt my mom and my aunt are the ones who are the most hurt and in the toughest position. And my mom is like gonna break down anytime. And u must be askin, what's dis gotta do wif my studies rite? Yah, basically, i've screwed dis sem of mine and i'm not catching up wif my studies, and i'm pretty sure i'll fail if i don't start bucking up. And i will buck up! For my parents' sake as well as mine. I will. Yah. Its like so many so many things are happening at one go, i'm really gonna break down. But i've told God and myself tt i'll stand up tall and face all the crisis and tide over dis phase of life. After dis period, all should be stable ba. But right now, still encouraging myself. Yep. So dear brothers and sisters-in-Christ, i hope u all can just take a lil time outta ur busy schedule and pray for my family, esp my mom and aunt. Thanks alot!

Throughout dis hard time, i've been rather sad and discouraged and inquisitive, but nonetheless, i'm closer to God once again. Maybe its coz i needed Him most now, but i really pray tt God will be in my life when i need Him. I wanna share my good times wif Him too. Hopefully dis tme of trials tt my family's facing, will in turn build a stronger bond and maybe believe in Christ!! Yep. Always look on the bright side. =)

* i'm not a perfect person, there's many things i wish i didn't do. maybe its hard for u to turn back now, maybe u don't love mi anymore. if u're happier like that, i'll respect it. *

2004-09-30T21:42:00.000+08:00

This is me

I am me

So love me if you dare..

Please don't be too nice to me

i might hurt you..

And there's no cure

and no way to be sure

Why everything's turned inside out

Instilling so much doubt

it makes me so tired

i feel so uninspired

My head is battling with my heart..

Whatever happened to Responsibility??

2004-09-28T11:28:00.000+08:00

why can't people just do what they have to do so that everything can work out..why do they not even seem bothered for a second..i don't like the feeling of rushing to get something done, only to realise that it simply slipped other peoples' minds..it's just so irritating..but anyway i'm in sch now after a totally uneventful project discussion..argh..dragged myself out of bed..reached sch early..got a nice table..only to find out they would all be late..and that's not all...they didn't get their work done!!! haiz..maybe i shouldn't care so much..it's really eating me up slowly..but anyway i'm studying for my sociology exam now..am VERY stressed..got 2 presentations and one exam tomorrow..how perfect rite..and the stupid project we were supposed to do today is due on fri..wad the hell...haiz..i dun wanna complain lah..but i'm really very annoyed..i want to get all this stress out of my head by nobody's helping..just making it worse..argh..God will see me through it all..i'm sure of that..but in the meantime..please get cracking people!!!

2004-09-27T01:37:00.000+08:00

yes..i was always the retarded one in the group

2004-09-26T02:51:00.000+08:00

these are my favourite gals from CJ! Jaq, Me, Burns, Ber..Love u all! *hugs*

2004-09-23T18:26:00.000+08:00

* is it is it? *

someone called me sweetiee!!
someone called me babe!
someone said i'm the sweetest!!
tt someone is tt someone i LOVE!
yay!

its really true tt u dun hafta tell pple tt u saw the point and u're changing for the better. but its only true when u TAKE A STEP BACK AND THINK alone, and sort out ur thoughts alone, and determine to change for the better. u need not announce, pple see, and they will tell u tt u've changed, not u tell them u'll change. yeah.

"DON'T be too smug lesmong, u're not as good yet."

2004-09-23T01:54:00.000+08:00

Someone brightened my day for awhile today by bringing me apple aloe vera juice..mega thanks!

Someone made me feel better just by being patient and listening to me..giga thanks!

I'm looking forward to playing badminton with desmond, danielle and andrew tomz..and i hope i can accomplish what i intend to study tomz..

is it just me or do i see light at the end of the tunnel? *smiles*

2004-09-21T16:22:00.000+08:00

seven hundred and nineteen!! [S-E-V-E-N H-U-N-D-R-E-D A-N-D N-I-N-E-T-E-E-N!!?] it's incredible man..our counter is moving at the speed of light! (haha..inspired by danielle's einstein theory thingy yest)..oh yes aniwae..i'm supposed to be studying now..but i just felt like blogging..so here i am..ya i'll spend my night time studying lah..so aniwae..there's this tinge of nostalgia in me now..met up wif the gals from CJ last nite for dinner..n i just realised how much i miss their frenship..really..it's just so..hmm..nice being with them again..the lingo and all..it's like u just fit rite in..and there's no hypocrisy or wateva..and they're all just sweet lil' things..haiz..really miss them alot alot alot..and then one of them gave me the link to her blog..which had like links to other stuff like pics we took when we were in CJ..n gosh..i miss it all soooo much..i miss having a home class..i miss genuine frenships..i miss mugging for A's until i wanna die..i miss complaining about teachers..i miss going crazy wif burns..i miss ber's 'mommy-ness'..i miss the nice talks i used to have wif jaq about why guys r so horrible n stuff..i miss CJ's grandstand..i miss skipping lectures..i miss going town walking around aimlessly after sch..i miss it all..so many things i'll always remember for life..and i'm glad we're all still frens..love all of u..*hugs*
i like people being there for me..u just feel so loved u noe..it's like..the whole world can go wrong..but u can always go back into the arms of someone who loves u so much..such that everything will just be alrite..
i like people giving me surprises..makes u feel like people want you to be happy on top of everything else..makes u feel special..surprises dun even need to be elaborate..something simple that'll bring a smile to my face..will just brighten up my whole day..
i like sincerity in people..because when u're with such people..u noe u can take off that mask that u put on to protect yourself..and just be yourself..no pretence..and you noe that these people do not judge..they simply love you for who u are..

2004-09-20T01:15:00.000+08:00

this is a really really gd song..heard it on S'pore idol when Sylvester sang it..it's superly superly good i tell u..go check it out..here's the really sweet lyrics of that song for u..enjoy!

When i look into your eyes

I see forever when i look in your eyes

You're all i ever wanted, I always want you to be mine

Let's make a promise till the end of time

We'll always be together, and our love will never die

So here we are face to face and heart to heart

I want you to know we will never be apart

Now i believe that wishes can come true

Cause i see my whole world

I see only you

When i look into your eyes

I can see how much i love you

And it makes me realise

When i look into your eyes

I see all my dreams come true

When i look into your eyes

I've looked for you all of my life

Now that i've found you, we will never say goodbye

I can't stop this feeling and there's nothing i can do

Cause i see everything, when i look at you

When i look into your eyes

I can see how much i love you

And it makes me realise

When i look into your eyes

We will always be together, and our love will never die

When i look into your eyes

I see all my dreams come true

When i look into your eyes

*smiles*..such a simple but beautiful song..nice!!

2004-09-20T00:30:00.000+08:00

* TAKE A STEP BACK AND THINK! *

A rash me,
An impatient me,
Getting into trouble, having no one else to blame but me.

Knowing my mistake only now
Kinda too late when she doesn't believe now
Nonetheless i'll improve myself,
Hoping to get reconciled!

Oh, how wonderful is she.
Giving me the chance to be as close
Oh, how lucky am i.
To have such a girl as my first

- lesmong -

2004-09-18T23:38:00.000+08:00

The Beatles got really good songs..lyrics so simple yet meaningful..love their songs...here are some that i think r nice..enjoy!

We can work it out

Try to see it my way

Do i have to keep on talking till i can't go on?

While you see it your way,

Run the risk of knowing that our love may soon be gone

Think of what you're saying

You can get it wrong and still you think it's alrite

Think of what i'm saying,

We can work it out and get it straight, or say good night

Life is very short and there's no time

for fussing and fighting, my friend

I have always thought that it's a crime

So i will ask you once again

Try to see it my way,

Only time will tell if i'm right or i'm wrong

While you see it your way,

There's a chance that we may fall apart before too long

I will

Who knows how long i've loved you

You know i love you still

Will i wait a lonely lifetime

If you want me to--I will

For if i ever saw you

I didn't catch your name

But it never really mattered

I will always feel the same

Love you forever and forever

Love you with all my heart

Love you whenever we're together

Love you when we're apart

And when at last i find you

Your song will fill the air

Sing it loud so i can hear you

Make it easy to be near you

For the things you do endear you to me

You know i will.

i will.

2004-09-18T23:28:00.000+08:00

ah!!! my favourite beatles song..haha..was surfing some song lyrics page lah..alrite alrite..here it is..enjoy!

In My Life

There are places I'll remember

All my life though some have changed

Some forever not for better

Some have gone and some remain

All these places have their moments

With lovers and friends i still can recall

Some are dead and some are living

In my life I've loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers

There is no one who compares with you

And these memories lose their meaning

When i think of love as something new

Though I know I'll never lose affection

For people and things that went before

I know I'll often stop and think about them

In my life i love you more

2004-09-18T22:47:00.000+08:00

This is a cool song..check it out.."You don't love me anymore" by Weird Al Yankovic..

We've been together for so very long
But now things are changing, oh i wonder what's wrong?
Seems you don't want me around
The passion is gone and the flame's died down

I guess i lost abit of self-esteem
That time when you made it with the whole hockey team
You used to think i was nice
Now you tell all your friends that i'm the anti-christ

Oh, why did you disconnect the breaks in my car
That kind of thing is hard to ignore
Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore

I knew that we were having problems when
you put those piranhas in my bathtub again
You're still the light of my life
Oh darlin', i'm beggin', won't you put down that knife?

You know, i even think it's kinda cute the way
you poison my coffee just a little each day
I still remember the way that you laughed
When you push me down the elevator shaft

Oh, if you don't mind me asking what's this poisonous cobra
doing in my underwear drawer?
Sometimes i get to thinking you don't love me anymore

You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill
Now my scars are all healing but my heart never will
You set my house on fire
You pulled my chest hairs with an old pair of pliers

Oh, you think that i'm ugly and you say that i'm cheap
You shaved off my eyebrows while i was asleep
You drilled a hole in my head
Then you dumped me in a drainage ditch and left me for dead

Oh, you know this really isn't like you at all
You never acted this way before
Honey something tells me you don't love me anymore
Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore..

haha i think the content quite explicit..but it's really amusing to me..yeaps..i'm so sleepy..*yawns*..got so much work to do..*sighs*..mom's in a bad mood now...really scary..but i've learnt over the years how to deal with it..haha..yes..simply stay cool n try to ignore whenever possible..alritey..will go change my bed sheets..got new pink oneS!!..yeaps..n then i'm off to dreamland..gd nite ppl..take care..

2004-09-17T11:17:00.000+08:00

YaY! just finished my EL test..think i screwed it up coz i dunno how to use certain technical terms to explain my answers..but..oh well..everything happens for a reason! haha..but of coz..faith lah..i haf faith that God will grant me whatever results He thinks is best for me..yeaps!
I feel much lighter now..it's like 10kg worth of crap just off me..haha..yes pls take this metaphorically..yupz coz 2 big burdens are off me now..i completed by film n history essay last nite..big thanks to Charmaine *smiles*..and my EL tests is now over..so now all i haf to worry about are my projects and my readings..which i MUST complete during the one week recess next week..yups yups..later got 3 kids to tutor..hmm..not really looking forward to it..but..oh well..like they say..just do it..shall just get over and done with it..den can officially enjoy my weekend!!..ah!!..kk i'm just very very happy now coz so many things r off my mind..oh..n today i experienced so many stuff that showed me that ppl r not that evil afterall..haha..yea coz i was on my way to sch today ( lecture at 8 am man..was late btw)..ya on bus no. 10..den i was sleeping when it reached kent ridge terminal..den some kind soul tapped me on the shoulder to wake me up..haha..k lah..maybe u guys think it's not anything surprising..but..ya..just felt very touched lah..that he/she din leave me there to kena from the bus driver..so..thank you..whoever u are..haha..oh den when i reached the LT..i was late..den somehow ah..the LT was damn full..not enuf seats..must be those usually pontang one suddenly come for lect today coz got test..idiots..haha..ya..so i had to sit on the floor..den this another kind soul..this gal (who's quite pretty btw)..she came to me n told me that there's an empty seat next to her..so i dun haf to sit on the floor..fwah..felt so loved man..dunno lah..maybe it's just coz i've been feeling quite horrible for the past few days that when someone suddenly does something nice..it's a big thing to me..hehe..but anyway..ppl aren't that bad afterall..*smiles*
okie..gtg for my project group discussion now..quite stress for this one lah..coz all my group members r like year 2 or 3 law students or political science students..den i think they will expect quite alot of cheemology from me..which i can't produce..haha..but..hope they're nice ppl lah..*crosses fingers*..hehe..wish me luck ppl!
i wanna thank God for my parents..even though they had some petty quarrel this morning..i know they still love each other..n they love me..i feel so blessed..*smiles*

2004-09-16T15:29:00.000+08:00

- does God really hears? -

oh well, for some of u, u may think tt i just wanna be holy and all tt. but let mi tell u, God really hears and He honours those who honour Him. trust me, He works. some of u noe tt i can't lead worship for nuts. i always haf dis phobia of leading and there's always disconnections between the songs. but yesterday at dinos, for the 1st time in my freakin life tt i actually experienced God. it all started when i'm choosing the songs. at first, as usual, will choose those songs i like. some of the songs i chose yesterday were like "broken spirit", "before the world began", "magnificent". haha. but i couldn't find the lyrics, so i opened up an email sent by karen last time. an email full of chords and lyrics. haha. den when i chose the 1st song, "Give Thanks", a prayer came to my mind, and the theme eventually coincide as i chooes the 2nd, 3rd and the 4th song. and i prayed abt the songs i chose and i THINK it was God's inspiration. so i happily copied the lyrics and chords and asked mark to print. den we went dinos and i handed out the song sheet. i was veyr encouraged when pastor aaron said "hey. i was thinking abt dis song dis morning." i was like. "wah! so zhun ar?". okay tt's the 1st encouragement. den mark said there's no welcome but we started off wif a bit of sharing on our week abt Thanksgiving!! i was like, wth? den i was like super high morale already lah, haha. like 1st time the songs i chose coincide wif so many stuff. haha. den i led worship. before i led, i prayed and ask God, "Lord, if its really u, help mi not to stutter while leading, flow mi wif ur inspiration and guidance." den i just start leading, and then the worship went well!! at least for mi lah. was very encouraged by myself and i've concluded tt God really hears and He really works. seriously. dis is a little testimony from mi lah. yep. hope it can be an encouragement to u all too! =)

* praying is not all abt answers but faith *

2004-09-14T10:43:00.000+08:00

just for the record..i hate being judged by people..so please..spare me..
this week's gonna be really really stressful..so many things to do..thank God there's a reading break next week..alrite..let's make a list..haha..lest i forget..like i always do..
1)gotta hand in my film and history essay by noon on friday (extremely important!)
2)gotta study for EL test this friday (please study cheryl!)
3)PS project group discussion on fri..so please prepare some points to contribute
4)EL project group discussion on fri (this one's rather stress-free coz the people working wif me r nice! *smiles*)
5)visit to asian civilisations museum..ASAP! coz i need to do my museum report by Oct! (oh charmaine agreed to accompany me to the museum..thank God..at least it wont be so boring now..)
6)go for the gamelan performance on 22 sept (very impt coz attendance will be taken)
7)do SC project by next week (start research asap!)
8)many many other stuff..the list goes on...ARGH!
i wanna thank God for the special people in my life..those who sincerely care for me..

2004-09-11T00:20:00.000+08:00

* is she the right one for me? *

hmm. many a times, we'll tend to ask our partner dis qn when we're in a midst of a quarrel right? its damn true tt we're so inquisitive abt who's the right one tt God had planned for us, but will it be too rude for mi to say tt we're actually running away from the problems we face tt thus led to a quarrel? why didn't we ask our partners dis same qn when we're in bliss, when we're on honeymoon? learnt something new today is that, its true God had it all planned, but its only to a certain extent. we all Christian humans do haf freewill and we must haf our own sets of character and personality tt we want our ideal partner to haf. and only u urself noe who's the right one for u, after growing up wif so many pple who are of the oppostie sex, knowing so many pple of the oppostie sex, seeing different traits and personality and u can straight away tell if she's tt kinda gal u would want to spend ur life wif. and when there's dis gal u came across, whom u've set ur heart and mind on, and u think she's the one, then u pray abt it and ask for confirmation, get to noe her better and if there isn't any significant objections from God, then go for her! of course, there're no smooth sailing r/s, but don't always ask urself if he/she is the one tt God planned in ur life. and another thing i've been reminded is tt nobody's perfect! there's definitely some traits in tt person u love tt u sthink is bad. actually, they're not bad, its just something tt's opposite of u. like u find her rigidity is an obstacle between the both of u, everything also must have timetable, go according to the schedule and book, and u're life is all planned. whereas u're a person who's very flexible, can suit anybody's timing anytime, don't really need any schedule to follow. u'll find tt her rigidity is something bad, and she may find tt ur flexibilty is something bad, tt's how a quarrel arises, differences in perspective. ["gal : why u nvr plan ur time wan? guy : can't u be more flexible? must everything be done to achieve something?"] something like tt lah. yah. so we must learn to see it from their point of view on how they see things and how they're brought up. like guy A is brought in a family whereby they shout to resolve things. gal B is brought in a family tt seats down and talk things out gently. and when dis 2 love birds meet, disagreements arises and guy A shout at gal B and gal B felt irritated like "why can't u seat down and talk things out? must u shout?". these are differences caused by the way they're brought up. so the bottom line is : before u get angry with each other's differences, seat down by urself and try to see things from their point-of-view. its hard, but its efficient. =)

may God be in all aspects of our lives and not a priority!

2004-09-07T01:57:00.000+08:00

focus from now onwards..God and my studies..period.
yeaps anyway..lotsa stuff happened today during vcf that somehow impacted me in one way or another..one was on Byron's sharing..he used the analogy of a new nissan sunny car to bring across the idea of our Christian lives..yupz..lemme re-tell his sharing..k say u ordered a new nissan sunny..and today it's shipped to your house..yeaps so u're very happy and all..so u open your new car door..and then u open the compartments..and u find a your car user manual..all nicely wrapped in plastic..ooh..happiness..so u unwrap the manual..maybe even smell it..then open it up and start studying it..yeaps so u aim to finish studying the manual in 1 year..u even cut out phrases or important points in the manual and stick it all over your wall..or maybe u even manage to find a few frens who are interested in studying the manual too..and u guys haf a 'car user manual study'..so do u see the point?..the car user manual is like the bible..ppl engage in bible study..ppl take verses out of it n memorise them..ppl aim to finish studying the bible in a year..but...at the end of it all..wad's the point?..going back to the nissan sunny analogy..don't we all want to drive the car as soon as we get it?..similarly..once we accept Christ into our lives..don't we have this urge to spread the Good News asap?..of coz i'm not saying that knowledge of the bible is not essential..but the point is..let us always remember the Lord's great commission for us - to go make disciples of all nations...yupz..dun get all obsessed with studying the bible or memorising verses that we forget the application part of it..yeaps..
another sharing that caught my attention was the one by Tabitha..yeaps she told us about a fren of hers..who has always been the shy, quiet type..and then one day her fren got attached to this guy..and then her personality totally changed..she became outgoing, confident, and joyful..and then Tabitha said..shouldn't our relationship with God be something liddat?..like shouldn't we be filled with that overwhelming peace and joy from knowing our Creator?..why do some of us still go about complaining..sulking..well even the ability to breathe is given to us by God so i think there are many things to be thankful about..as long as we're focused on what we're doing..which is for the glory of God..no matter what we're engaged in..i'm sure we'll be glad.. :)
i noe that no one understands what i'm going through better than God..

2004-09-06T20:39:00.000+08:00

hey pple out there!! gif mi a lame clap! *clap* "lame". haha. damn. got infected by the camp mood. haha. anyway. yah. just read the entry cheryl posted. and i seriously think i gotta do something abt my temper and my perceptions of stuff. coz i think all my shit thinkings are screwed man. and its always my impatience and bad temper tt screws things up. toking abt priorities. frankly speaking, i put dis r/s in 2nd place after God. and her's probably somewhere further down, and i dun blame her for tt, because NOW, i feel tt r/s shouldn't be 2nd priority!! wat abt family, studies? damn. must reset my priorities lah. yah. and the camp was quite fun towards the end part, but the starting ar! wah. super sianZZ. cheryl-sick, homesick.aiya. wateva lah. anyway. yah. everything should start within urself before telling others their flaw. i noe all of u knows dis and its in the bible. but its just a reminder. thoughts have been running thru my head for the whole day. ["why must i always hurt pple?", "why can't i control my temper?"] yep. still no solution, will tok to pastor aaron abt it lah. the feeling like quite nice leh, like when u're feeling damn doubtful abt urself, u haf a pastor or somebody who's much more mature than u to hear u out and advise and counsel u. damn nice lah the feeling. yeah. okay. i'm gonna slp! damn bloody tired. yah. "i'm sorry" [u noe who u are. tt's all i can say.] *sigh*

2004-09-05T23:51:00.000+08:00

oh no..superly superly stressful man...so many things to complete..i think sept is gonna be a really busy month..coz everything's due in OcT!!! ARgH!!
hope desmond has a fun time at camp..it'll be a gd experience i guess..it's been only 2 days..but kinda miss him though..hmm..
oh pastor aaron's sermon today was quite gd..kinda speaking to me to re-focus and re-prioritise..which i WILL do..yeaps..God is just marvellous lah..He's always been by my side even though i didn't realise..yupz..i just flipped through my course syllabus for SE1101E..and although there r like alot of things to accomplish for this module..like field trips n all dat..i realised i havent missed out on anything that impt..like thank God i decided to 'wake up' today man..now i'm gonna be busy busy busy...
aniwaez..english language is soooo cool..seriously..considering majoring in it..hmm...we'll see how things go lah huh..
i realise that as we grow up..it's harder to forge friendships..and even if we do manage to make acquaintances..they are nothing more than superficiality..haiz..that's really sad lah..where's that genuinity we used to possess as kids..that spirit of always wanting to share and always looking out for your best fren..yeaps..something to reflect upon i guess..dun think frenship should only involve hanging out wif ppl..should also include stuff at a deeper level..but nobody said it's gonna be easy..yeaps i wanna care for others like Jesus cares for me..n i'm gonna try my very very best..
ok ok..gotta go back to doing my readings..which r a whole chunk..erm..like about 10cm thick!!..it's madness..but i will survive..i guess..*crosses fingers*

2004-08-30T10:08:00.000+08:00

407?!?![F-O-U-R H-U-N-D-R-E-D A-N-D S-E-V-E-N?!?!?]
haha..it's crazy man..the counter is jumping like mad..not bad ah desmond..u got quite alot of fans out there..haha..*gives desmond a pat on the back*
yeapz in school now..have been here at the computer for the past hour..n i need a break..been doing lotsa stuff..like typing out minutes..printing out my lecture notes..discussions..forums..i'm literally brain drained man..yeapz..so here i am typing an entry..coz it's kinda stressless..
oh btw..gd job yesterday at the camp com meeting yesterday guys..very spontaneous and i think it was quite a fruitful meeting..esp the throwing out of ideas for the script..fantastic man..yupz yupz..oh yes n the banner..really nice too! yes ppl..it's coming..............
one eye's bigger than the other today..argh..not enough sleep again..haha..disgusting man..
aniwaez..got a nice poem to share..somehow it'll just pierce ur heart one..coz it's the straight-in-your-face kind of message..but yea..nonetheless..enjoy! and of coz reflect oso lah..haha..
Too busy this morning,
I'll say a prayer quick;
Tonight i'll have time
to study and to think

Tonight i'm too tired
to study God's word;
I'll wait till next week,
then i'll worship the Lord.

Next week came too fast;
But it seems that i may
have more time next month
To read and to pray.

Next month! Oh yes,
I just wonder why
My love for the Lord
is about ready to die.

Love u people! Bye!
p.s: taking neo-print with those special people was real fun! love them all!

2004-08-26T10:52:00.000+08:00

wow the counter shows 350! [THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY!!]..who on earth has been snooping around man..well aniwae..yeapz it's been a really really really long while since i've updated..but so many things have happened which are better left unsaid..but i'm blogging now coz i'm really really stressed n i need to let it out..gosh my 500 word essay is due by noon tomz and i've barely started..ok i take it back..i have NOT started!..argh..hope the 8 hrs tonight will be enough to complete it..oh any beatles fans out there btw?..yea the essay's on the history of the beatles..so it's not something that'll be easy to me coz i noe nuts bout those ppl..well whatever..hope everything will go smoothly..
Life has so many issues..yet not all can be spelt out..why does it seem so easy for some people..
well aniwae..HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY KAREN! LOVE U!
k i'll be back...ciao!

2004-08-23T15:19:00.000+08:00

ssuppa niggas!! i'm in sch now man. haha. feelin really bored. everybody's doing their labs and i'm doing my blog. muahahah. tired lah. yep. anyway. hmm. not sure abt everything now. in all aspects. let's start wif sch. i've no idea why, whenever i wake up in the morning to go sch, i'll haf the sense of fear and stress man. stress tt i'll fail my overall, stressed tt i cannot catch up wif my workload. haizZz. i'll always pray wif a heavy heart man. yep, always committing the day to my Father and i guess all should be right. so far its all right man! hmm. yep. now its abt the r/s thing. hmm. still sorting out stuff, re-assuring myself, and all tt. hmm. not sure if i'm ready, don't think so, but i guess it would be quite soon. yep. will be talking to pastor aaron abt stuff like tt lah, hopefully he can understand my situation and help mi see the light man. yep! oh! and abt my spiritual walk wif Him. everything in mi is very motivated and stabalised to do and read His' word. talking to Him. but still quieting down my heart and to hear His' soft whispers to mi. yah. and youth camp!! always looking forward to the meetings man. but its hell load of stress, food! 1.5k!! muahahahaha. i haf the greatest piece of the pie, actually half of the total man. haha. but its damn alot of work to be done. checking out prices, choosing food, think of the amount of food eaten so tt pple won't feel sleepy after lunch or breakfast, planning and brainstorming on how to make eating exciting, and recently i'm into thinking the words for a mass grace where everybody recites before eating. haha. trying to make it like the BB junior section which is a short song, or should i say its like a nursery rhyme. ha. yep. hopefully it'll be cool lah. yea. hmm. okay lah. feeling quite guilty doing this in lab. haha. okay okay. will go do my lab now. yep. pray for mi yah!! pray for wisdom will do. wisdom in all areas! haha. okay. i am SMARTO! haha. ciao!

2004-08-20T00:12:00.000+08:00

damned damn. dis day is truly screwed. didn't start off well. some pple might say its an excuse, some pple might say i've got weird attitude. whatever means, i'm like that. a bastard who always gets mis-understood or "attitude-buddy". dis morning really didn't start off well, woke up at 8am to like wake her up. but some things happened and just spoiled my day lah. its usual, but i'm just not used to it. okay. tt was the 1st. den after tt, i left my house at like 8.35, to make sure tt i won't be late. and when i was walking to the bus stop, i called andrew and asked where's he, he's still at home. den i was like thinking "weren't we supposed to be on time?". like i dun hafta be the one ensuring tt everybody's awake and all tt, but why am i doing all tt? okay, tt was the 2nd. den i called joy, she's also slping. den i was like, okay lah. since everybody's not interested, den might as well call it off, and anyway, i haf sch at 1, so like quite rushing for mi if i go down there, and then go back to sch all sticky. so i smsed andrew telling him, other days perhaps. den he didn't reply, and i roughly knew he was pissed lah. den i like. shit lah. why is it tt all the things i do seemed to piss pple off. and eventually, i still did piss him off lah. den after tt, danielle smsed mi, asking mi where am i. den i replied, not going already. den she replied "i think andrew angry leh." den i was like, "wtf?" really damn pissed. den i replied her quite rudely lah, sorry danielle. yah but, like throughout the day or maybe my life, i've been reflecting like "who am i actually am?" am i a person who's damn irritating, tt everything i do, pisses pple off. or am i a person who just don't know how to express myself. was really upset, but i pushed it aside, den i told myself, yah, don't let wat happened affect my mood or other pple's mood. so i met cheryl, wif a forced-smile and all that. acted as if my morning had been real good. yah. watched friends. laughed a bit, yah. but i found tt i cannot control my feelings. den i suddenly attitude lah, like vent all my moodyness on cheryl. sorry cheryl. yah, den after tt i went to sch wif a heavy heart lah, like why is being myself so difficult. yah. but everything was okay when i'm in sch lah. like joked wif my frens and all tt. yah, den met cheryl and sent her to NUS. yah. den had quite a good time at dinner. yep. today's really a day tt i've screwed many's days. i'm really still figuring out and sorting out alot of stuff lah. yep. will get over it lah. yep.

2004-08-17T09:16:00.000+08:00

i'm sooooo overwhelmed..what with school n all..i'm not sure if i can make it through man..yes i am totally lost in class...so lagging..n i'm slapping myself going.."what have u been doing for the past 19 years of your life cheryl?!"..haiz..so much preparation for sch...so many commitments..it'll be tough..but with proper time management n God's guidance..i guess i'll pull through..yeap..*crosses fingers*..
well anyway..yea i just did my tutorial registration..really really really hope i get all my tutorials as i want them..it's so freaking stressful man..just planning your timetable..really honestly difficult..yea the results will be out at 9 tonite..so..praying hard man..but yea..God lets everything happen for a reason..so wadeva it is..i'll just accept lah..i think...oh n i'm soooo pathetic man..i just realised how to log in to my nus email account a few days ago..n argh i'm soooo lagging..everyone's like forming discussion groups n their online forums r like soooo impressive..man..like even before the first lecture they got so many gd ideas to tok about?!..i'm impressed..yet overwhelmed...
ya another struggle is the lack of friends..haha..don't understand why i've withdrawn myself so much..just not used to being the one to strike a conversation with a stranger anymore...so like for "film and history"..we gotta form discussion groups..yeap n i know no one in the lecture group..so..the lecturer just assigned me to a group..n..yeap i still don't know those ppl..maybe i should send them an email each n like..maybe we can start our discussions soon..hmm..
yes i know i've not blogged for a really long time..not really that long but seems long coz so many things have happened..yea des called this morning..n asked if i blogged..n asked if i read his blog entry..n i was like..shit..i totally forgot about blogging when i was doing my tutorial registration n stuff..feel kinda guilty..this is like another commitment we both share other than God..n yeap i kinda just realised that..des sounded really disappointed on the fone..i'm sorry des..
i really really hope that this time..things will work out..i'm so thankful for the bus ride we had that day..gave me an opportunity to tell him lotsa stuff that i otherwise would never share with anyone..and yea i thank him for being so compromising n so understanding..yea i think personal expectation just kills u..ur expectation should be Christ-centred..all things will work that way..
ooh yesterday was quite a nice day in sch..went to sch with joy and then she sat in my "govt n politics in s'pore" lect..oh btw it was a really nice bus ride which gave us much needed time to share stuff with each other..yea aniwae..oh the first lecture was really interesting..even joy felt so..but..it's really tough lah..coz i don't have much background knowledge in history nor politics..so..i've got alot of catching up to do...oh btw..just wanna point out some things i learnt from prof. singh yesterday..do you people out there really believe in the sang nila utama story?..as in the one whereby he saw a lion here n thus named it singapura meaning lion city?..haha..say he saw a ghost instead?..would we be living in hantupura?..haha..hantu is malay for ghost by the way..yea and what is s'pore exactly?..why is it a chinese society on a malay land?..or maybe it's just a westernised society with some asian gloss?..what are we when we call ourselves s'poreans?..where does our identity lie?
yea then after that lecture met up with charmaine n then went for "film and history" lect..really really interesting..we're now doing a project on the beatles..so we gotta watch a documentary on the beatles yesterday..then next lecture we'll watch a narrative film on the beatles..n then compare n contrast..like on which one tells more of the truth..yeap..to think there was so much more to the beatles..used to think they were merely a pop band...well well..there's so much more to learn..n i'm looking forward to it..
so after the lecture..i went with charmaine to her vcf cell..ppl were really nice n friendly..well at least i made a few more frens..haha..yea then after the cell meeting..we went for prata at fong seng..n left so late..that i almost missed the last bus..scary..but yeap had des to tok to me on my way back..so din feel so lonely..haha..thanx man..erm..that's about it i guess...i'll blog more regularly from now..i'll try my very best..yeapz..a big thanks to everyone who has been concerned for the both of us..well everything's alrite now..hope all of u out there r doing fine too..haha..yes danielle i miss you man..haha..always in science block..come over to arts lah!...alritey ppl..will see u around..take care n God bless all of u!